Yesterday the topic was to "release what you can't control for peace of mind" and it certainly got me some emails and I appreciate the words of support and praise.
This blog today deals with lowering personal stress. A major cause of health issues today in our busy time allocated society is stress - yesterday we even spoke of BREATHING slower and deeper so I want you to think how you can relax a little today.
From yesterday's blog Suzie was interested to know more and so asked me "if I was saying that we should ignore family and friend's who make judgements of us?". I think that answers itself as YES but let me "translate" my intention and remember these are only thoughts for you to consider.
When other people either family, friends, work colleagues (or people who don't know us) give their opinion of our words or actions it is just their impression and this doesn't make it right. Sometimes issues are caused because they may not understand the intent of our words or actions. People often hear what they want to hear - hey who hasn't been in a relationship and there is a "heated discussion" and when the noise dies down and you start to talk again, you realize you were either both arguing about the same thing or neither of you heard a word the other said ???? No it has never happened to me either.
Often from clients I have heard them describe how their feelings were hurt by the words of someone they considered a friend. I do understand how these attacks can seem personal but they really need not be taken to heart. Easy to say I know.
I remember a rhyme from when I was a boy. Sticks and stones may break my bones but names (words) will never hurt me". Think of it this way, is what they are saying about you true ?
If it is and you are upset, then there may actually be cause for personal assessment if YOUR actions aren't fair to them. However, if what they are saying is not true, why do we often seem to give that person's words "weight" over our own judgement and feelings ?
The worst problem men have is that we often tend to want to fix the issue. Even though we don't understand what that issue is. Why do we MEN need to this .... it's in our DNA (hunter killers - fixers ???) but really we can't fix what is not our issue ? I'll say it again - we can't fix someone else's issues or perceptions.
Equally when it comes to their words just because they say it, it doesn't make it true or right.
Try wearing your "emotional rain coat" so that you can accept but not agree with their words. This will allow you to assess if you still consider what you have done as "in tune with your moral compass". If it is then STOP worrying about what THEY think as it is their perception.
Also sometimes by judging others it helps to make them feel better about themselves.
If you have friends like this and they treat you poorly give less weight to the actions that cause you to be upset and stressed. Once you start to recognize this it can be a great awakening as you will then start to give them less time, and hey if they dont treat you well why would you want to be around them anyway ?
More importantly you will start to trust your own self again and remove that additional stress that causes you pain and can make you ill. Restore harmony to your ECO friendly body and enjoy that which YOU are.
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